there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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