I wanna passion pit in your ass
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
