It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
