i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
