Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
we're making bets on your personal life
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
