Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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