went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
