come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Found the puke drawer
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
PANTIES FOUND
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
