garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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