Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
