i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
