ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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