I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize