Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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