She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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