I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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