i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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