How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
