yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
