Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
