If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
