SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize