I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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