i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
