So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize