I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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