i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
