I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
