The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
