she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
