One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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