The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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