He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
