I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
