It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Someone signed my nipple.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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