please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
