its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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