After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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