Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
