best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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