me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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