come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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