I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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