Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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