btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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