Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
