you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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