sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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