she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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