She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
