i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
