I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
