I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
