No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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