I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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