You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
