My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize