If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
