I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
