i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
