Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
