I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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