I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
