I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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