You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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