in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
