Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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