O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize