you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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