we have officially lost it.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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