I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
