I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
