i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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